I’m back!

Good lord. Ttumblr_ln59toBrGW1qeaabho1_500his blog’s genesis was a cliché and now its timeline appears to be one as well. It was a new year’s “resolution”, albeit a tacit one, a “project” as I liked to call it, but, you know, that which we call a resolution by any other name would smell as deceptively promising. And of course I didn’t keep it longer than a couple of months, or the cliché wouldn’t have been complete.

Anyway, I’m back now, for however long. It could be just today or it could be longer. As always when my mind is in a blur, I’m writing down my thoughts so as to make them clearer.

Amidst more serious concerns of unpaid bills and summer joblessness, I’ve been thinking about relationships. I know, coming from a twenty-something girl on her holidays, groundbreaking! Oh well, it’s not like anyone reads this blog anyway.

I have thrown myself into one, a couple of months ago, much to my own surprise, as it certainly wasn’t part of my resolutions and maybe even against some of them. And therefore partly because I’m in one, and partly because I’ve just finished a Sex And The City marathon where romance and men were the main focus for 6 seasons and two movies (longer than they deserve, if you ask me), I have been inclined to give the topic my own share of thought.

My view on relationships has always been that in this day and age, they have become unnecessarily difficult. I tend to hold this view most firmly when I’m not in one, funnily enough. “They could be SO EASY”, I would think to myself, overlooking my bias as an outsider and somehow forgetting that human beings are less predictable than I like to think, “People in relationships are constantly overthinking everything.”. And yet, even now, up to a certain extent, I still seem believe the same thing.

Maybe it’s a generalization. Fine, I shall narrow it down and only speak for my gender. Girls in relationships, motivated by magazine articles, movies, TV shows and conversations with their girlfriends, are constantly overthinking theirs. Somehow, and I may be wrong, I doubt this was the case a century or two ago. And yes, I am aware of Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, but their worries were real and concrete. The situations those female characters found themselves in had an actual bearing on the course of their lives, whether or not they decided to voice them. Too often, I feel, the problems our mind trick us into thinking we have would have no effect whatsoever on our couple if we didn’t decide to share them with our partners. And while I will defend the power of clear communication in a relationship till my last breath, I do wonder if the traditional male argument that suggests “women overthink too much” could possibly have a point.

If every individual person is different, and every relationship is different, how are we supposed to assess our own ? Are we good enough ? Are we supportive enough ? Do we spend enough time together ? Are we fighting too often ? Are we on the same page ? Are we happy ? Am I happy ? Is he/she happy ? What exactly should we expect ?

Maybe we should simply be, one day at a time. And see where that takes us.

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